Admitted Essay for Stanford University: College Essay Example

Not every college essay needs to be academically focused...

Some institutions, like the esteemed Stanford University, are interested in understanding how students spend their time outside the classroom. They recognize that a balanced life with extracurricular activities can significantly enhance a student’s productivity and academic success.

To showcase this balance, colleges might ask applicants to describe their favorite out-of-class experiences. This Stanford Essay Review provides insights on how to effectively link your academic goals with your extracurricular passions.

An Admitted Essay for Stanford University

The Stanford community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning. (100 to 250 words)

“I started playing guitar when I was three. Then I asked for a drum set, and after that, a bass. Finally, I asked for a piano—but a vibraphone was different. When I was asked to play the vibraphone two weeks before the concert, I emphatically proclaimed that I would do it. I was thrilled about the opportunity to learn a new instrument without prior knowledge; it was an exciting challenge.

Every bit of free time I had, I spent practicing. I practiced on actual vibraphones, imaginary vibraphones, pianos, and every surface that I could use as an imitation because a vibraphone is not easily transportable. Every note meant something to me: a new method, interpretation, or technique. I felt like an author who learned new words or a researcher who discovered a new technology. In the dress rehearsal, I finally played the piece correctly. Unfortunately, I broke my collarbone before the concert so I never had my vibraphone debut.

While I did want to do well in the concert, I truly enjoyed the process of learning to play a new instrument. When I learn something new it is like I am given a new instrument; every instrument comes with new ways to interpret music. There are so many ways to explore each instrument and what it is capable of. Instruments are everlasting conduits for expression. In the same way, new ideas never cease to promote further learning. Learning is an exciting process, made up of many instruments to explore.”

Our Expert Review of the Stanford Supplemental Essay

This student excellently answers the prompt right from the start. The earlier you address the question, the better. He connects his passion for playing instruments with his love for learning, effectively summarizing the prompt’s essence in one concise statement. He demonstrates his adaptability and eagerness to try new things by mentioning his proficiency with various instruments. Including the detail about not debuting on the vibraphone underscores his genuine passion for learning rather than just performing.

However, while the essay is creative and addresses the prompt well, it could benefit from more direct explanations. The final paragraph, though vivid, could be clearer in explaining how learning instruments ties into academic learning. More specifics on how these experiences influence qualities like adaptability and quick learning could strengthen the essay further.

How to Write Your Own College Essays

Be Honest About Your Talents

Reflect on your high school experiences and identify activities where you invested significant energy. Whether it’s leadership roles, sports, or artistic endeavors, pinpoint activities that highlight your unique skills. Authenticity is key, so choose activities that genuinely excite you and demonstrate your talents in a way that connects to your academic goals.

While writing your college essays, consider these questions:

• Where have I spent most of my time outside of school?
• Is there evidence, like awards or accolades, that highlight my unique skills?
• Am I passionate enough about an activity to write enthusiastically about it?
• Does this activity help me stay focused and motivated academically?

Connect Them to Your Academic Goals

Once you’ve identified your unique skills, draw connections between these activities and your academic work. Consider the challenges you faced and how you adapted. For instance, if you enjoy art, explain how it provides a necessary break from critical thinking, allowing you to recharge and focus better on academics. Or if you play sports, discuss how it has honed your critical thinking and stress management skills.

When writing your college essays, ask:

• What challenges did I face in my activities?
• How did I grow from these experiences?
• How has this growth impacted my academic performance?

Look for Opportunities to Be Specific

Delve into the specifics of how your extracurricular activities influence your academics. Avoid generalities by asking “Why?” repeatedly to uncover detailed reasons behind the connection. Specific examples make your essay more engaging and convincing.

When writing your essays, ask yourself:

• Why did my academics improve (or worsen) after joining an activity?
• Can I provide specific examples that highlight this connection?

Don’t Worry About Sounding Impressive

Admission officers value enthusiasm. While it’s important to showcase your achievements, let your passion shine through. Ensure your essay reflects excitement and genuine interest in your activities. Have someone else review your essay to gauge its tone and adjust as needed.

When writing your essays, ask:

• How can I showcase my passion for this activity?
• Does the essay sound genuine and enthusiastic, rather than overly formal or impressive?

Connecting Academics and Activities

As long as you enjoy the process of writing and ask yourself the right questions, you can craft an admission-worthy essay. Focus on how your extracurricular activities influence your academic performance, provide specific examples, and let your enthusiasm shine through.

For the best assistance with your college essays, consider using a service like Admit AI, which provides automatic feedback for any of your essays. It can help you expand on important topics, make necessary edits, and ensure your essay stands out.

Ultimately, your unique experiences as a student are valuable and can set you apart in the college admissions process!